Just 3 Weeks to marry.. What, When, how..???
ust three weeks were left for the wedding, and Prashant was extremely busy at his job and also with the wedding preparations going on at home. Today he had to go to the tailor for the trail of his wedding sherwani, but instead of feeling happy about it, he was feeling some anxiety and unhappiness inside. He was confused and worried about many things related to his upcoming marriage, but he was not comfortable talking about his doubts to his fiancée before the wedding.
Finally, 25-year-old Prashant made up his mind to meet his older and trusted friend Sanjay and share his concerns and thoughts which were making him depressed.
Prashant told Sanjay about all the queries which were worrying him regarding the sexual part of his marriage and the bridal night expectations from him. Sanjay, after listening to him completely, advised him to come to our clinic for the correct medical guidance and assured him that we would maintain his privacy fully. He urged Prashant to openly share his uncertainties with our doctor in detail, and get much needed help to sort out his misconceptions.
When Prashant came to our clinic, he looked quite confused and depressed and was initially shy about telling me what was bothering him. But once he started to open up, I was able to make him talk tome about everything which was causing the anxiety.
He was confused and had misconceptions about whether having an intact hymen equals virginity of a girl and would it be painful for her the first time she had sex. He wanted to know if girls also have sexual likes and dislikes, and whether a girl who talks about sex or enjoys sex is a characterless girl. He was anxious to know if it was safe for him and his wife to have sex during menstruation.
He was very worried about his own performance on the first night and was depressed thinking that if he couldn’t perform then does that mean that he is impotent? He was also worried about sexually transmitted diseases and had no clear idea about how the disease spreads, or how to prevent it.
Prashant was in great anxiety and depression before he came to our clinic, but I was happy to be able to answer all of his queries about sex and the marital bed satisfactorily, and thought that I should give him some guidance on other aspects of a marriage as well.We discussed topics like the importance of knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, and habits like smoking, alcohol consumption, etc.
I explained to him that it is also important to know each other’s spiritual beliefs, plans for children, career aspirations, relationship expectations from In-Laws etc. Also it is very essential to set some guidelines in the marriage regarding the management of family finances, understanding and management of household duties and chores etc.
I feel happy to share that after our long discussion and satisfactory resolution of all his queries, he looked as if a load was removed from his shoulders and he had got a new vision about his life to come. I told him that he could come back to see me at any time if he ever felt the need to discuss any aspects, and wished him a happy marriage. It was good to see him walk away with a light step, and a smile on his face.
He came back a few days later,looking bright and confident, to give me the wedding card and invite me to his wedding!
- Varad Clinic (Pune)